Feds With Backhoe Find What They Were Looking For In Clinton’s Yard
Feds with the DOJ showed up in Chappaqua, New York with a warrant to dig up a specific part of the Clintons’ back yard. The area they dug wasn’t on the new property just purchased this year but on the adjacent property that the Clintons have owned since the 1990s.
According to Special Agent Tom Petros, the operation went exactly as expected:
“We were there to pull up a piece of the grounds that were image3d from the air. There appeared to be several barrels buried in a garden area of the yard. They were removed, sealed with evidence tape and sent to the crime lab at Quantico with agents escorting them to keep the chain of custody intact.”
Petros said the imaging picked up the barrels because of their reflective plastic properties but couldn’t see inside. Geologists at the site say that the weathering of the barrels and some clues at the site indicate that they were buried sometime around when the Clintons moved in:
“We’re not gonna screw this up by opening the barrels here and risking contaminating any evidence. Those barrels will be opened and the contents examined under the strictest of evidentiary guidelines.”
The Clintons’ PR spokesman, Christopher Blair, says that the Clintons aren’t concerned with whatever is in the barrels because they had nothing to do with burying them there:
“The Clintons think you right-wing hacks are hilarious. Those barrels could have been there since the invention of blue plastic and they still would be trying to tie it to them. The whole thing is ridiculous.”
Ridiculous, maybe, but the feds are pretty sure they’re onto something. We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.